The interval

Between one abandoned place and another i stop to eat, i visit other placet, but first of all i moove. There are many ways to get around the city: subway, tram, bus, on foot, bicycly, motorcycle, scooter, car, skateboard... somebody told me it’s against the law to go around with rollerblades: it seems to be danger for ourselves and for the others. From my point of view the best way would be the scooter: it’s fast, you don’t bother anybody if you stop and it’s not tiring. Once i used to have a Sì of Piaggio. Now every time i happen to go in the city i curse the day i sold it, giving it away almost for free. I’d like to have a bicycle, but i wouldn’t know where to leave it. The ideal would be if theaves didn’t exist, so i could park it when i get tired wandering around and start my trip again the next day from where i left it. Unfortunately i’m a commuter (? Is it the right word?) so i have to take the pubblic transportation. It’s negative, ‘cause they are always on strike and they don’t reach every place i want to visit. I’ve already written that it takes me two hours to get to school, against the thirty minutes by car: the blame on the coincidences. I change two busses, take the metro, get off in Garibaldi and then the train. Stops: 20 minutes from the first bus till the second one; 15 minutes from the second bus to the metro; other 15 minutes from the metro till the train arrives. If i add the ten minutes it takes me to get to the first bus stop and other ten to reach the various platforms and school... one hour and 10 minutes lost. 50 effective minutes of trip, which is still more than by car. It’s a scandal. If i also think that the bus ticket costs more than what i’d spend in gas! I often get to school so tired that i’d be ready to go back home right away. I have the feeling i gave to much of myself already: they should consider the trip as working hours. Four hours trip, plus 8 hours working, makes 12 hours. If i hopefully sleep 8 hours i have only four hours left for my meals, my personal hygiene, house cleaning and a bit for myself. This is what is waiting for me if i decide to work in Milan and live in the outskirts. I need to take a drastic decision for my future. As a student my day is much lighter: i can spend one hour in the afternoon thinking for myself: it’s the hour i don’t spend on the bus. During these years in college i’ve prepared half of my exams on a ramshackle bus, with poor light, bumps on the streets (cursing the occasional cityhall), i’ve learnt to go through every difficulty and not to feel bus sick. Strangely enough my eyes are in very good condition, althought i’ve really stressed them a lot. If i had a car i’d still have at least ten exams to go. I wouldn’t have read all the books from Dostoevskij, Tolstoij, Rand, Tolkien...; i wouldn’t have met half of the people i hang out with; i wouldn’t have the music culture i have. By car i listen to the rdio, not my cassettes, cause it’s more pop. My personal taste in music is not good for driving. With my earphones i’ve done trips far from reality, droping in atmospheres that can’t be seen with only a glance. By car is better to listen to stuff like Ramazzotti, where all i have to do is try to remember the words that i really can’t get into my head. The music i listen to makes me want to close my eyes and penetrate the deep of my soul, it makes me stare at something and destroy it into particles, transforming it into something else. This the car can’t give it to me. If i’m driving. People on the steering wheel get the worse out of them, specially in the rush hours. I suffer of anxiety when i drive, a reminder of a nervous breakdown i had few years ago. Once a guy out of his head threatened Alessandro and i, ‘cause from his point of view we did something wrong: he passed us, he stopped very hard in the middle of the street, we passed him, he followed us passing all the other cars coming from the opposite way, he got right behind us, almost touching our car, at a red light he got off, opened my boyfriends door ready to hit him. He had a little girl in his car. Others shouldn’t have their license they are so incapable and dangerous. How can’t i feel anxious? I realize that when i’m in the city i become a typical milanese driver: no pity for anyone. Hurry. Neurosis. And i’m not writing about parking... i could stay here a whole week!